So I've been thinking about this for awhile, and there's just a few things I need to get off my chest (ha, ha...get it? I'm hilarious.)
My friend Kimberlee and I used to talk about how we wanted to write a book called The Truth About Breastfeeding.
Before I get started I need to make a couple of things very clear:
a) I'm a big proponent of breastfeeding. I nursed all 4 of my children for their first year on this earth. I think everyone should try it.
b) I do not judge anyone who formula-feeds their baby, either because they are unable to breastfeed, or because they choose not to.
There's too much judgement on both sides of this debate. I'm not here to debate though. I'm here to pass along my profound wisdom!
As I stroll through blogland each day, I see there are so many new mothers, expecting mothers, first time mothers, and I think it's absolutely wonderful! I start to reminisce about my first pregnancy, and my first child, and the experiences I've had with each different baby we have been blessed with. I don't know if any of these young mothers ever read my blog...but I'm going to pretend they do and that I'm passing along a little mommy wisdom!
In BOLD I will put what "they" say. "They" referring to all the breastfeeding books, magazines, "coaches" etc. Then below I will put how it really is....the gospel according to Xazmin!
Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world.
Um, actually...it's HARD! It's awkward, and uncomfortable when you are first learning. You don't know how to hold him correctly. You can't tell if your baby's getting anything, if you're smothering him, if there's any milk coming out. It's a huge guessing game!
It's the most loving, bonding experience a new mother can have.
Not always true. Sometimes you're so worried about doing it right, it's just stressful, and you don't have enough emotional energy left over to "bond"!
Your newborn will eat every 2-4 hours.
Ha! My firstborn wanted to eat ALL THE TIME! I felt lucky if I could hold him off for 30 minutes between meals! And my other 3 nursed every freakin' hour!
If you're doing it correctly, it is not painful.
FALSE! If you add it all up, I have breastfed for about 4 years out of my life. Now I know some moms have like 7 (or 17!) kids. But I still feel like going through it 4 times gives me a little insight to knowing if I'm doing it right or not.
I know there are some women who are blessed to have it all work perfectly without ever having any pain or discomfort. But I can tell you from everyone I know, (I'm Mormon...we have big families and we breastfeed (mostly)...I know about that which I speak!) and from my own experience, the majority of new moms have a painful first few days, weeks (or in my case with Bookworm, months!). It doesn't matter how carefully you practice, and latch that baby on, your boobs (yes, I say boobs, sorry for anyone who finds that word offensive...that's just how I roll) are just not used to that kind of abuse! You have sore nipples. Sometimes even cracked and bleeding ones. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong!
Breastmilk is the only suitable source of nourishment for a newborn.
While I agree that breastmilk is God's perfect recipe for providing our babies the nourishment they need, and has all the nutrients in perfect proportions for our little ones, not breastfeeding does not make someone a bad mother!
Formula has come such a long way over the generations. I believe modern technology is also a gift from God. This technology has given us the advancements necessary to make good, healthy, nourishing baby formula for our babies.
I was disgusted when a pro-breastfeeding campaign came out calling formula feeding dangerous. Comparing giving your baby formula to riding a mechanical bull, or doing a high wire act while you are pregnant. Really? Really people...give me a break.
Whew! I feel better. I feel like the above 5 things are the biggest myths in the breastfeeding world!
Now, that being said. I do NOT intend this to scare anyone away from breastfeeding! I will add to each of the things I said above.
First, although it's awkward at first, you will quickly learn what is most comfortable for you and your little one, and what schedule works best. Once you get it down, breastfeeding is incredibly rewarding. You are providing your baby with something that no one else in their life is able to. It's your perfect, special gift to him or her. There's nothing sweeter than looking down into your little one's perfect, content little face as they are nourished by their mama. I really encourage every new mom to at least give it a try.
Next, the eating all the time doesn't last forever! I promise! As the months go by they'll be bigger, need less and be too busy and curious to eat all the time!
Now about the pain. I think this varies depending on you, your baby, and your breasts! I have some big milk jugs on me, so I had a more difficult time I think, getting itty bitty babies to latch on correctly. Sometimes it hurt so bad I wanted to say the worst swear word I know when they first latched on. I had bleeding and cracking. But I never once second thought my decision, and I plowed through and am so glad I did! Because this part doesn't last forever. Sometimes only a few days. I know this might be too much information for some of you...but the reason I wanted to get it out there is this:
Based on everything I had read about how it was supposed to be, I felt like a complete and utter failure. I must be doing everything all wrong, or it wouldn't hurt, right? I must not have good milk, or he wouldn't be so hungry all the time right? My experience was NOT what "they" had described. At least in the beginning. But if I ever have another baby...I will go through it all over again. It's worth it, and I loved that time with my babies, providing them with what only I could.
Here's my best piece of advice if you are planning on breast feeding. Ask the hospital to give you lanolin ointment, or buy your own before you go. Use it EVERY TIME you nurse. Immediately after you're done nursing. Even if you're not sore (because you won't be the first couple of times). It makes a world of difference. Don't forget to use it every time. Also, it's safe to take Tylenol while breastfeeding. Sometimes it really helps take the edge off of the pain.
If you are a new mom, or soon to be mom struggling with, or considering breastfeeding, I just want you to know that you shouldn't be frustrated if it's not everything the experts say! I think so many people give up too soon because they have false expectations of what it's supposed to be. If you really want to do this for your baby...don't give up! You will get past the hard part, and then it will be wonderful!
If you are a mom who wants to breastfeed, but are unable to for some reason...It's okay! My heart goes out to you. You're still a wonderful mom. Breastmilk is just one tiny thing in the many, many things that mother's have to offer their children. Give them your heart and that's what matters.
I hope I haven't offended anyone. If it all worked perfectly for you, that's awesome. But I just wanted to put this out there for the many of us who have a difficult time mastering the skill of breastfeeding!
My friend Kimberlee and I used to talk about how we wanted to write a book called The Truth About Breastfeeding.
Before I get started I need to make a couple of things very clear:
a) I'm a big proponent of breastfeeding. I nursed all 4 of my children for their first year on this earth. I think everyone should try it.
b) I do not judge anyone who formula-feeds their baby, either because they are unable to breastfeed, or because they choose not to.
There's too much judgement on both sides of this debate. I'm not here to debate though. I'm here to pass along my profound wisdom!
As I stroll through blogland each day, I see there are so many new mothers, expecting mothers, first time mothers, and I think it's absolutely wonderful! I start to reminisce about my first pregnancy, and my first child, and the experiences I've had with each different baby we have been blessed with. I don't know if any of these young mothers ever read my blog...but I'm going to pretend they do and that I'm passing along a little mommy wisdom!
In BOLD I will put what "they" say. "They" referring to all the breastfeeding books, magazines, "coaches" etc. Then below I will put how it really is....the gospel according to Xazmin!
Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world.
Um, actually...it's HARD! It's awkward, and uncomfortable when you are first learning. You don't know how to hold him correctly. You can't tell if your baby's getting anything, if you're smothering him, if there's any milk coming out. It's a huge guessing game!
It's the most loving, bonding experience a new mother can have.
Not always true. Sometimes you're so worried about doing it right, it's just stressful, and you don't have enough emotional energy left over to "bond"!
Your newborn will eat every 2-4 hours.
Ha! My firstborn wanted to eat ALL THE TIME! I felt lucky if I could hold him off for 30 minutes between meals! And my other 3 nursed every freakin' hour!
If you're doing it correctly, it is not painful.
FALSE! If you add it all up, I have breastfed for about 4 years out of my life. Now I know some moms have like 7 (or 17!) kids. But I still feel like going through it 4 times gives me a little insight to knowing if I'm doing it right or not.
I know there are some women who are blessed to have it all work perfectly without ever having any pain or discomfort. But I can tell you from everyone I know, (I'm Mormon...we have big families and we breastfeed (mostly)...I know about that which I speak!) and from my own experience, the majority of new moms have a painful first few days, weeks (or in my case with Bookworm, months!). It doesn't matter how carefully you practice, and latch that baby on, your boobs (yes, I say boobs, sorry for anyone who finds that word offensive...that's just how I roll) are just not used to that kind of abuse! You have sore nipples. Sometimes even cracked and bleeding ones. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong!
Breastmilk is the only suitable source of nourishment for a newborn.
While I agree that breastmilk is God's perfect recipe for providing our babies the nourishment they need, and has all the nutrients in perfect proportions for our little ones, not breastfeeding does not make someone a bad mother!
Formula has come such a long way over the generations. I believe modern technology is also a gift from God. This technology has given us the advancements necessary to make good, healthy, nourishing baby formula for our babies.
I was disgusted when a pro-breastfeeding campaign came out calling formula feeding dangerous. Comparing giving your baby formula to riding a mechanical bull, or doing a high wire act while you are pregnant. Really? Really people...give me a break.
Whew! I feel better. I feel like the above 5 things are the biggest myths in the breastfeeding world!
Now, that being said. I do NOT intend this to scare anyone away from breastfeeding! I will add to each of the things I said above.
First, although it's awkward at first, you will quickly learn what is most comfortable for you and your little one, and what schedule works best. Once you get it down, breastfeeding is incredibly rewarding. You are providing your baby with something that no one else in their life is able to. It's your perfect, special gift to him or her. There's nothing sweeter than looking down into your little one's perfect, content little face as they are nourished by their mama. I really encourage every new mom to at least give it a try.
Next, the eating all the time doesn't last forever! I promise! As the months go by they'll be bigger, need less and be too busy and curious to eat all the time!
Now about the pain. I think this varies depending on you, your baby, and your breasts! I have some big milk jugs on me, so I had a more difficult time I think, getting itty bitty babies to latch on correctly. Sometimes it hurt so bad I wanted to say the worst swear word I know when they first latched on. I had bleeding and cracking. But I never once second thought my decision, and I plowed through and am so glad I did! Because this part doesn't last forever. Sometimes only a few days. I know this might be too much information for some of you...but the reason I wanted to get it out there is this:
Based on everything I had read about how it was supposed to be, I felt like a complete and utter failure. I must be doing everything all wrong, or it wouldn't hurt, right? I must not have good milk, or he wouldn't be so hungry all the time right? My experience was NOT what "they" had described. At least in the beginning. But if I ever have another baby...I will go through it all over again. It's worth it, and I loved that time with my babies, providing them with what only I could.
Here's my best piece of advice if you are planning on breast feeding. Ask the hospital to give you lanolin ointment, or buy your own before you go. Use it EVERY TIME you nurse. Immediately after you're done nursing. Even if you're not sore (because you won't be the first couple of times). It makes a world of difference. Don't forget to use it every time. Also, it's safe to take Tylenol while breastfeeding. Sometimes it really helps take the edge off of the pain.
If you are a new mom, or soon to be mom struggling with, or considering breastfeeding, I just want you to know that you shouldn't be frustrated if it's not everything the experts say! I think so many people give up too soon because they have false expectations of what it's supposed to be. If you really want to do this for your baby...don't give up! You will get past the hard part, and then it will be wonderful!
If you are a mom who wants to breastfeed, but are unable to for some reason...It's okay! My heart goes out to you. You're still a wonderful mom. Breastmilk is just one tiny thing in the many, many things that mother's have to offer their children. Give them your heart and that's what matters.
I hope I haven't offended anyone. If it all worked perfectly for you, that's awesome. But I just wanted to put this out there for the many of us who have a difficult time mastering the skill of breastfeeding!
Comments
Have a great day.
Sandra
Great post for all those considering it!!
~Becca
You need to write that book! :)
Great post!
Much love from NJ,
Sue
xoxo
Hope you're having a terrific Tuesday!
My first baby nursed all the time too. And I mean all.the.time. And as for hurting . . . uh yeah, for the first couple of weeks with my second baby I thought I was going to die every time she latched on. That pain rivaled labor, I tell ya. Of course, I thought I knew it all when it came to breastfeeding once my third was born, and she threw me for a loop. She came five weeks early and had such a hard time learning to suck, we had to syringe feed, and I never thought I'd get to breastfeed (contrary to what it may sound like from my above statements, I have loved nursing my babies). I did have to mix breast milk with preemie formula for the first couple of weeks, but she caught on, and is doing wonderfully now three months later.
I agree, though, as much as I love nursing my babies, it's not for everyone. I would never judge.
I am SO proud of myself for breastfeeding my daughter -- the first couple of months were SO hard, but I stuck to it and now she's almost 15 weeks old and I LOVE IT!
To anyone having trouble -- it will get better!
Also, the Dr. Newman nipple cream (prescription) saved my life!!
(ps. just found your blog today and I can't wait to read on!)
I was very sad when I stopped nursing my daughter. It was strange looking back and thinking about how hard it was at first, compared to how easy it was in the end.
My advice to new moms is to also take advantage of the lactation specialist at the hospitals. They can be a HUGE help!
Great post, well written and very
informative! I'll be sending my friend over to check it out.
Um, not helpful!!!
XOXO
Jen
With Maddison, my nipples cracked, bled, and scabbed. It was HORRIBLE! I used the Lansinoh cream, and that helped. I agree, once you just push through, it gets SO much easier.
I had no problems with Saylor whatsoever, except that she wanted to nurse ALL the time.
I think it's great that you posted this!! I'm known as the breastfeeding expert in our family, and I LOVE that. :)
Oh, also. When you were saying 'itty bitty babies', I thought you were saying 'itty bitty titties'. lol.
What a wonderful and insightful post. No judging...just facts.
xoxo ~Lisa
I loved Lansinoh (lanolin). You can start using it when you are still pregnant, that way when your baby arrives, your nipples are already conditioned. That little tip helped me tremendously!
I've been at both ends of the spectrum. My first child I nursed. For my second child, she was an extreme case where I COULDN'T nurse her at all. She had to be on some formula that you could only get with a prescription from the right kind of doctor (her intestines weren't completely ready for action). With both kids, I had people telling me all sorts of stuff about how I was doing something wrong, or my child wasn't getting enough, or it was better to this or that.
So, I decided with my third child, I was going to do what I thought best for our situation. I've found, you have to ignore people sometimes, even if they mean well, and just do what you think is best.
There's my 2 cents.
I had little, itty, bitty milk jugs, and it still hurt like crazy. With my first, everybody told me it would hurt, and it did! Like crazy! I let "the hurt" go too long and it turned into Mastitis. So, to all you new mothers: Yes, it will probably hurt, but call your doctor at ANY sign of a temperature. Don't let it get too bad!
Also, don't feel guilty if you are happy when it is over and you get your body back.