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I Suck.

I'm serious. I'm so mad at myself right now. I have fallen completely off the exercise and eating right wagon.

I'm not really sure how it happened. Things were going great...then I had different events I was attending, like my brother's and husband's birthday celebrations with my family, Bookworm's end-of-year class party, Hubby buying fast food for the kids a couple of times that I snuck some bites of...it all adds up. And as soon as I started eating the forbidden foods...my appetite was out of control...and I had no willpower. Once I had "messed up" for the day I just didn't care about making great choices for the rest of the day. I know...like I said...I suck.

Exercising...well...I REALLY don't know what happened here. I was on fire! Then it's like someone dumped a giant bucket of water on my fire! HELP! I don't want to start going backwards.

I did have a goal to increase my jogging to 15 minutes total time, and my walking to 3.4 mph for the whole time (45 min.) that I did the walking part of my work out. I DID succeed in that increase on Wednesday...but then I haven't exercised since! What is WRONG with me?

Please...I really need a pep talk, because I want today to be the start of jumping back into the healthy choices I was making. I really, really want to look and feel good for summer.

Sorry to be such a downer today...but it's how I feel.

I hope the rest of you have had a better week!

Although I'm grumpy today...I really do love connecting with everyone who participates in Extreme Makeover: Me Edition with Amber...so if you'd like some healthy support, head on over and link up!

Comments

Jan said…
Please don't be so hard on yourself Xazmin. We all have our times. You are doing better than you think.

Take care and just continue on...
June 10, 2009 at 9:21 AM
Connie said…
I just read this qoute this morning while eating my breakfast.

Missteps are part of any process. Stay focused on where you're headed!

Don't dwell on the past and what you didn't do. Focus on what you are going to do NOW.

Good luck this week!
June 10, 2009 at 9:21 AM
Tanielle said…
You are looking great!!! Don't get down girl, just start fresh from here!!! Love ya!
June 10, 2009 at 9:26 AM
jennykate77 said…
You DO NOT suck! You're doing awesome and have been a source of inspiration for me over the past few weeks! Don't let a bad day or a bad week be the end. One bad day does not make a bad week and one bad week does not make a bad month. Even if you don't feel like hopping back on the wagon, do it anyway. Don't look at it as starting over, just look at it as overcoming a small obstacle. Trust me, I've been there and done that...these times where you struggle are times where you'll look back and see that you learned the most about yourself. You're awesome! You can do it!

Love ya! *hugs*
June 10, 2009 at 9:29 AM
Anonymous said…
Xazmin, please do not beat up on yourself. When you realize you stumbled, gather your thoughts and go from there. Take smaller step to ease yourself into it. You'll do great.

You Rock No Matter What!!
June 10, 2009 at 9:33 AM
Vivienne @ the V Spot said…
I heard that the mentality of "I already ate something I shouldn't have today - oh well - the whole day is shot..." is one of the biggest traps for people trying to lose weight.

You ate it - fine. Move forward, even if it is the same day.

The working out? Every little bit helps. You'll get your momentum back, don't worry. And please don't be so hard on yourself.
June 10, 2009 at 9:37 AM
AP Mommy said…
It's better to have the struggle midstep and regonize it rather than power through to the end of goal wait and let ALL your efforts go for-naught. It's a process and a lifestyle change - those aren't easy things to go cold turkey on. :)

It will get better!
June 10, 2009 at 9:40 AM
Sturgmom said…
You are doing great! Everyone has setbacks. Just make sure your goals are realistic. Personally, there is NO WAY I can exercise 6 out of 7 days. We just have too much going on. Focus on what you ARE doing rather than what you aren't and set reasonable goals. You'll get there!!
June 10, 2009 at 9:57 AM
Melissa said…
I am not much of a pep talker, but I will do my best. You have been doing awesome. You just need to get recharged. Eye on the prize Xazmin, eye on the prize. Would the New Kids say your terrible? Would the New Kids want you to give up? NO!!! They would say take it "step by step" and " hangin tough" Yeah, that's what they would say. So get back to work toots(I mean no reference to gas). They are dying to meet you in 30days and 21 hours. :) I typed all that while having a coughing fit. :)
June 10, 2009 at 10:03 AM
J.J. said…
I hear you...and I appreciate you being real about it. You ARE,however, worth it to get back on the wagon and find your inner "Eye of the Tiger"!!!!

Remember...the exercise doesn't come from motivation...the motivation comes FROM the exercise!!!!!

Smile....and hugs to you!
June 10, 2009 at 10:19 AM
Small House said…
OH DARN!!! I'm the fall off the band wagen queen. The trick is, to just keep trying. You'll get back at it.
Have a great day
Sandra
June 10, 2009 at 10:35 AM
shortmama said…
In the wise words of Chicken Little...Today is a new day! You can do it girl! You are going to have bad days, or even a week..we all do. Remember that we are all right here with you. When you have one bad thing to eat, tell yourself I refuse to do this to myself the rest of the day!
*singing* "I get knocked down, but I get up again, youre never gonna keep me down"
June 10, 2009 at 10:40 AM
Alicia said…
Ups and downs are OKAY! By going through this "down", perhaps your next down (because there WILL be downs) wont be as low... and you'll just keep on having "better downs"... does that make any sense? live and learn. Making mistakes is just how it goes. I sure don't like you any less knowing your human! In fact, I relate to you a whole lot more! Don't be so hard on yourself. Just start where you're at NOW. Go from there!
June 10, 2009 at 11:33 AM
Sassytimes said…
Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has bad days/weeks every now and then. Don't expect yourself to be perfect. Just pick yourself back on up an start again.

Focus on the goal, not the time currently. ;)
June 10, 2009 at 11:40 AM
Mama Nut said…
Oh, Xazmin! I know just how you feel. Just forgive yourself and forge ahead. That's all we can do. But I know at times like these we wish we had Miss So-and-so's metabolism because SHE can whatever she wants and never gains weight. The restrictions of eating healthy are a lot to handle and some days (or weeks) we just can't do it. I agree with what Viv said...one bad day doesn't necessarily mean it's a free-for-all bad week. Just do better tomorrow.
June 10, 2009 at 11:51 AM
Sara said…
Xazmin
I did the same thing this week:(
You had a bad week, I had a bad week, we learn from our weeks, and we fix what went wrong! Next week will have a better week!

Hugs
Sara
June 10, 2009 at 12:04 PM
Barefoot Studios Ok, LLC said…
My post is very similar....

Three cheers for next week!?!?
June 10, 2009 at 12:21 PM
Rachelle said…
Don't be so down on yourself. Look at all the progress you've already made! You've inspired me to lose some weight!

Setbacks are okay, they happen to everyone, just don't focus on it and try not to let it get you down. Just think of it as more of a break, but now the break is over and you can get right back on track!

I know you can do it! Good luck!
June 10, 2009 at 12:55 PM
Jen said…
EVERYONE has a lousy week/month/day/whatever. Too many fun events, a busy schedule, PMS - anything can get you off track. Don't dwell on it and just start fresh today. Or tomorrow morning (I always like Mondays!) One week won't make much of a difference in the long run, but if you let it get to you and fester, one week will turn into two, into a month and so on. And try to think about it as being the healthiest & happiest you can be for yourself and your family, not how you will look in your bathing suit this summer.

We're all here behind you! :)
June 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM
Sugarplum Garters said…
The fabulous thing about the exercise and eating right wagon is that you can climb right back on it no matter how many times you fall off! You can do it, I know you can!
June 10, 2009 at 1:49 PM
Jen @ tatertotsandjello.com said…
Don't beat yourself up. I was doing so well last week when we were having great weather, but now that it's cold and rainy, I haven't worked out at all.

This week will be better!

XOXO
Jen
June 10, 2009 at 1:51 PM
Jenny said…
You don't suck! We've all had times like that.

Is there something you could do to refocus? Maybe look at a picture of yourself before you started losing weight? That always works for me, because then I see what I didn't like about it.

Good luck getting back on track, just make little steps.
June 10, 2009 at 1:56 PM
Amanda @ Serenity Now said…
You don't suck! Everyone has a little pitfall every now and then. Mine has lasted 8 years. DON'T let that happen to you. ;) Seriously, you've been doing so well...just dust yourself off and hop back on that treadmill. Keep thinking, "VEGAS!"
June 10, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Koko said…
Well, I can't believe that's true since my daughter loves you. I hear you on this subject, though. All we can do is try and try again. We all have these times since we have to stretch it out over a lifetime! Wish we lived near each other and we could jog that 15 minutes (I used to all the time before I started teaching seminary...now it's hard).
June 10, 2009 at 2:57 PM
Becca @ The Texas Darlings said…
It's such a cycle- this constant battle with living a healthy lifestyle- I hate it- I am just like you and I wish I had stronger will power!!!

Just know that tomorrow is another day and you can start fresh!!

BTW- I am terrible at the "pep talk" thing....sorry!!!

~Becca
June 10, 2009 at 3:13 PM
Mama King said…
If you suck then I really must suck! At least you have goals! Good for you. I am a sloth and have been off the exercise train for 3 months now. Your post actually inspired me to checkout the Extreme Makeover site. I need a kick in the booty!

Good luck! PS I love that you love NKOTB so fervently! It makes me smile.
June 10, 2009 at 3:34 PM
Kenlie said…
I know you've already received encouragement from others, but I have to throw in my two cents too.

The most important thing about maintaining a healthy lifestyle is to keep going. The beauty is that tomorrow is new day, and you can wake up and do things right!

What has happened is in the past. Don't let that keep you from the good things you've already done and the good things you're going to do!

I hope you forgive yourself --- now. And just look forward to what you can do from here on out.
June 10, 2009 at 8:19 PM
Kenlie said…
Also, think about it this way...if we were neighbors, working on losing weight together...and I came to you and said "man, I suck" then gave the reasons you've give, would you agree that I suck? Or would you say "hey, you just have to keep going."

I know a little about you because I communicated with you on my old blog, and that doesn't seem to be who you are.

Anyway, my point is...you should be as nice to yourself as you would be to me or to a friend you've known for years...or anyone. You deserve the same grace too.
June 10, 2009 at 8:26 PM
Shawn said…
Hey, stop being so hard on my friend would ya!

We are only human and eating "bad" and not exercising is not the worst thing in the world. Tomorrow is another day.

OK, I have something that might make you feel a little better. If you beg and plead I'll post a picture of the crap that's hanging over my pants right now. My daily {sometimes twice daily} trips to Sonic for 44oz of diet Dr. Pepper are killing me!
June 10, 2009 at 9:52 PM
Sugarplum Creations Blog said…
Awwww sweetie, you are being way too hard on yourself! Everyone has those days (those weeks, or even those months!). You just pick yourself up and move on. Today is a new day. Don't dwell on what last week was like. Just make a goal to do better this week. You *should* treat yourself to some sweets at special birthday parties and such, I think! And now you can get back on the wagon. You're doing great!
June 10, 2009 at 11:42 PM
Anonymous said…
Listen, just don't think so hard about the "big pic.". I have a very unique "love/hate" relationship with my nordictrack! I feel too "confined" if that makes any sense, when I feel the need to stick to an exercise routine (having children intensifies that for me, because I feel I don't have enough time!). Take it one day at a time, and look at it more as ..."this is going to make me feel so good about myself when I'm done"! ....and tell yourself it IS ok when you miss a few days. Hope there was a little encouragement in that :)
June 11, 2009 at 1:00 AM
Unknown said…
so you ate some of the "good" stuff - it happens. You have a clean slate now to keep doing what you had been doing until those little devils ;) snuck into your mouth. It happens to all of us, which is why I allow myself one very sinful dessert each week (Culver's frozen custard... yum!)
June 11, 2009 at 8:36 AM
Brandy said…
We're in the same boat. I was doing really well with eating better, taking my vitamins and all...and then not so much.

I'm such a huge procrastinator too that it's hard to get started again. But that's what you gotta do. Recommit. Focus and get started.

I really should take my own advice too.
June 11, 2009 at 9:22 AM
kado! said…
best thing about a diet is you can always start again tommorow!!! I know it's hard to be good with all the fun stuff going on around us! You will get back there! I know you will!
June 11, 2009 at 1:04 PM
RootsAndWingsCo said…
I am right there with you on this one! I feel like because it's summer, all should just be fun...with no consequences. However, my clothes are fitting tighter, so my body must not have gotten the memo about no consequences! Not fair...and especially at summer time. If my clothes are a little tight, I can only imagine what my swimsuit will feel like.

Rebecca
June 14, 2009 at 10:20 AM
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