Monday, July 6, 2009

Breaking News

Well...I regret to inform everyone that I will NOT be going to Vegas this weekend to see my fabulous 5 boys from Boston. Yes, I know, I know...it is quite a shock. I'm sad, but I know it's the right decision.

I have been struggling with this for awhile. It started when I received my calling to serve in the Young Women's organization, and I realized girls camp was the very next week. I would be leaving my family on a Friday, returning on a Sunday, then leaving again on Monday for 5 days. I've had a lot of guilt about this, because I've never left my kids, except once for 3 days for a conference that was a requirement for my charter school board member position. But even then I took my husband and my youngest.

I don't feel guilt about leaving for girls camp...it's a worthy service that deserves my time. However, the concert is just a fun, frivolous weekend for just myself, and although there's nothing wrong with that, it just felt like I was being really selfish to do it the weekend right before I leave again for 5 days.

Along with a bunch of other, smaller, more personal things, the next thing was that Tanielle got (unexpectedly!) pregnant. With her accompanying "all day" sickness, she had to change her plans of going with me. I still was determined to go.

Next my husband fell on Saturday and broke his wrist, in a painful and notoriously slow-healing place. I started to worry about how he would take care of the kids for the combined time of my absence. I had a couple of options of who would go with me, and was feeling optimistic about the weekend. I knew my mom would be here to help Hubby with whatever he needed.

Yesterday when I was visiting my mom, she was coughing up a storm. She's had a nasty cold for awhile now, but yesterday she coughed up a little blood. She promised to get into the doctor first thing today. It turns out she's in the early stages of pneumonia.

Last night as I lay in bed, I knew what I had been resisting for a long time. My family needs me more than I need this concert. It's frivolous and worldly and it's not more important than being here for my family. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not giving up my silly-girl ways! I'll still love concerts and craziness, and I'm soooo hoping these guys tour again so I get another chance.

But after much thought and prayer, I feel like Heavenly Father really wants me to be here this weekend with my family. Please keep your fingers crossed that I will find a buyer for my tickets! And don't feel too bad for me, because I know I am doing the right thing, and if you start crying, then I'll start crying and it will be this whole big bloggy blubber-fest!

And don't worry, I'm still going to do something fun on that night like a Major League Soccer game or something to keep my mind off of it. So it's all good!

32 comments:

Buttercup said...

Xazmin - I am so, so, so sorry you are going to miss the concert. But you have worried about leaving your family from day one; and from experience there is usually a reason for these things to happen. Still, I know you are disappointed and I wish things had worked out differently. Hope you can sell the tickets - and party your heart out that night!!!!!!

kimert said...

Aw, I'd be a wee bit bummed but I do understand your reason(s) for missing. (((hugs))) to you! I hope you can get those tickets sold. :)

Kelli said...

I'm so sad for you, but I understand your reason. I've had to make decisions like that. You'll just have to blast the CD real loud and do some of their moves!

shortmama said...

Aww Im so sorry you have to cancel your plans. I know how you had been looking forward to it. I hope your hubs and mom get better soon. Found out last week that Rhiannon has pneumonia and she wasnt even coughing or anything, just a fever and hives!

Shawn said...

I know you're disappointed but we as Moms and Wives do what we have to do. Doesn't being a grown-up really such sometimes?!!?

~S

J.J. said...

I am so sorry sweetie. That is a bummer. However it sounds like you made the right decision! You are a good Mommy, daughter, wife, and friend. Hopefully the hardest part was actually making the decision...and the peace of making the right decision will set in soon. Hugs to you girlie!

jenjen said...

Hi Xazmin,
I am sorry you are going to miss your concert. It sounds like it was a good decision though. I hope your mom feels better soon - and so sorry to hear about your husband's wrist! You are a wonderful mom to put off your own desires for your family.

((hugs))
Jen

Amy said...

Sorry you are going to miss the show. I think you are a wonderful person because you thought of your family and your friends. They will be back again. I hope you do have fun that night.

MiMi said...

You are way more mature than I, I would have thrown a class A tantrum. Cuz I'm a baby like that.
Good for you on your awesome decision though. It shows how much you care for your family. And who knows? Everything's for a reason, maybe something bad would have happened if you went...? Never know.
Well, poo. : /
Macey

Heidi @ Blue Eyed Blessings said...

Bummer that you'll miss out on something that you have been looking forward to, but it takes a smart woman to realize how important family is over (as you put it) material things. Everything works out for a reason, and so you'll be blessed in some way...I know it! You never know. You might get to see them again at another time. Hope you get a chance to unload the tickets! ;)

Sara said...

Xazmin,
I was so sorry to hear that you won't be going to your concert, however it sounds like you made the right choice.

Make sure you do something fun with those adorable children
Hugs
Sara

Grammy Kim said...

I'm really sorry that you'll miss the concert, but it sounds like you're following what you know is right at this time. Hopefully you'll get to do this another time. Jamie told me your mum is sick. I'm really sorry about that!

onegirliegirl said...

Aw Xazmin, I'm sorry you had to cancel your plans!

We were in church recently when our priest waqs telling the story of when he saw The Pope back in the 1980's.
The Pope said "...that in order to truly be free. You should do what you ought to do, instead of what you want to do..."

You are truly a free person! Free to be you, a wonderful mother, wife, daughter, friend, etc...

xoxo ~Lisa

Tabitha@ichoosebliss said...

Xazmin, I'm sorry you'll miss the concert, but you made a beautiful decision. You put your family 1st and that ROCKS!! However, if I had any music connects I would get NKOTB to show up at your door. You deserve that my friend!!!

Jenny in Utah said...

This is so interesting ... a friend of mine was leaving on a little vacay the other day when she and her hubs both fell ILL and finally they realized they just needed to go home. Once they turned the car around they felt immediately better. With you, however, it looks like the people around your were all "stricken" to get you to stay home ... interesting! Anyhow, hard as it may be sounds like you know right where you need to be. Oh, we're charter school people too, although I haven't dared apply to be on the board yet, not with a baby! Maybe in a few years.

Jenny-Jenny said...

The fun you have at camp will be so great you'll forget about the concert. I'm sure because of your sacrifice you'll have another chance to see your boys and maybe even closer to home. If they come to Seattle you can stay at my house=] I'll be at girls camp that same week but in WA.

Christie in Dallas, TX said...

Don't you feel like a mature grown-up when you have to make hard choices like that? HA! I think when all signs point to "the right thing" it is usually for a reason. You may or may not ever know what that reason is, but regardless, I hope you have a blast with your family and enjoy your time at home. I bet it means the world to them that you are giving up NKOTB to be with them!

xoxo
-Christie

Amber said...

Bummer!! Hopefully you'll get another chance to go in the future.

Anissa said...

You will get another chance. But I think you are a wonderful women and mother for what you are doing. Praying your mom and husband get better.

Amy Anderson said...

Bittersweet - but it sounds like you are definitely making the right decision. Go Xazmin!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

Aw, X, my heart breaks for you. :( I know how psyched you were for this trip. I think you are a mature and wise woman to follow God's nudging on this one. I just know you'll have another chance! This is the hardest part of being a mom for me...the sacrifices!!!! Hope everyone is well soon! Love to you, friend! :)

Mama Nut said...

Oh man! I'm going to be brave and not cry for you but I totally know how you feel! I had to cancel my trip to Women's Conference this past April and was so depressed about it! You are awesome to have such a good attitude. At least go see a good movie or something!

Jessica said...

Oh my, I'm so sorry! I was a NKOTB freak so I know how you must be feeling. So sorry to hear about your husband and mom, I hope they feel better very soon!

Becca @ The Texas Darlings said...

There is NOTHING like a MLS game to replace a silly, girl-screaming- crazy concert!!!

Hard decision to make- one I applaud you for!!

~Becca

Grammy Kim said...

Hey, have you tried selling your tickets on Craigs list? Sometimes that's a good way to go... Hoping you, your husband, and your mum are doing much better tonight! Been thinking about you all day

Joy For Your Journey said...

I am sorry you will miss the show, but I am also very sorry for your poor husband who broke his arm. That is never fun!! Also, I hope your mother gets better very soon. How awful for her to be so sick. What a sad thing to have everything happen at once. There has to be some good reason for it. So sorry. I hope you will get another chance to go--and when Tanielle can go with you.

Vivienne said...

I may not be a fan of NK, but I am definitely a fan of yours. I'm sorry it did not go as you had planned. I know how much you wanted to go.
Everything hapens for a reason... small comfort when you're disappointed, but a comfort just the same.
Maybe next time?

Small House said...

Dang....Sounds like you made the right choice though. BUT STILL...DARN!!!! It sounds like your life right now is "When it rains it pours." I hope everyone gets better, feels better, and you still have a nice evening.

Girls camp sounds like so much fun. It's something I'm missing this year. HAVE FUN!
Sandra

Grand Pooba said...

Now we wouldn't want a big bloggy blubber-fest would we?

Well look at you, taking one for the team! Sounds like your home will fall apart without you!

Carrie said...

I am so sorry but it sounds like you made the right decision.

Marrdy said...

I am so sorry you don't get to go to the concert! If I knew where you lived I bring you some low cal low fat treat, even if I really did want to bring you a shake. Hang in there!

Kado! said...

OH....that Sucks! I know how excited you were! Maybe they will come to Utah sometime soon?