Today my heart hurts....

I got some news last night that has really weighed heavily on my heart.

You see, there's this boy I've known since I was little. We'll call him "K". He was in my ward most of my life growing up, and was really good friends with my brother. He was my friend as well. Well I still consider him a friend. Our families were close. His parents and my parents were friends, we (the kids) were all friends, and although we've all gone different directions over the years since graduation, we're still in touch through FB, or my brother, who is still close with K.

K married a girl who also grew up with us. We'll call her "S". I didn't know her really, but I knew who she was because my brother had the biggest crush on her in elementary school! I have gotten to know her more since she married K and think she is one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

Last night I learned that S is in the ICU. The doctors believe she has Guillian Barres Syndrome caused by the H1N1 vaccine. I found this out through a post on her FB status made by her sister. I immediately called my brother. He informed me that he had been on the phone with K, and that S had her legs go numb and now she's got pain throughout her entire body. K and S just had a little baby not too long ago. K also just barely had hip surgery himself.

After I hung up the phone, I googled Guillian Barres Syndrome. I was horrified by what I read. You can look it up yourself if you want all the details. But basically the numbness that starts in the legs progresses through the body. In the most severe cases complete paralysis can occur. This leads to other complications such as lack of lung function and other vital operations. These complications are treated as they occur.

The relief is that almost everyone recovers from this condition, even in the most severe cases. But the recovery is long and hard. The symptoms progress until about 2 or 3 weeks in, when the person will be at their weakest. Then they remain in the condition of weakness from weeks, to months, to years (in the worst cases) before their body begins to recover. This is very emotionally and psychologically painful for the person. Thinking of this dear, sweet wife and mother in this condition just truly makes me ill.

I have seen people deal with hardships. I have watched people I love suffer and pass away from illness. I know Heavenly Father's great plan of happiness and it has always brought me comfort in times of sadness. But for some reason this situation has really hit me hard. Harder than anything has in a long time. Last night as I processed this information, and thought about my friend K and his beautiful wife, I just cried. Everyone else was asleep, and I just sat in front of my computer and cried. I am still sad today.

I checked in with S on her FB status today, and learned that she is not doing too well. She had a bronchoscopy today because the doctor was worried about how the CT scan looked on her lung. They suspect pneumonia, but believe there might be something more. S posted this information herself, and added that she was scared. And that she missed her babies. And that she's afraid her new baby will forget her. Again came my tears. I hurt for her, I hurt for her husband, and I hurt for his family whom I love so much. Also for her family whom I don't know at all. My heart just hurts for them all.

Today I am thankful for the health of my husband and children. But it is with a heavy heart, as I know this is not a blessing that everyone shares at this time.