Thursday, September 17, 2009

Dear Someone

Dear Monkey,

Something has got to change. I mean it. I'm only 33 years old...I'm not meant to have this many grey hairs. Also, I'm pretty sure the neighbors don't appreciate the yelling they hear coming from this house.

So, I've been thinking about how you can be my big helper, and we can try to make the grey hairs and the yelling come to an end.

Let's talk about your relationship with the dog. I'm pretty sure she doesn't appreciate being blamed when you have an accident in your pants because you're too lazy to put your toys down and go to the bathroom. So please, I don't want to hear, "Ty's a naughty dog, she peed my pants" ever again. Okay?

Next, I really, really did not enjoy walking into the kitchen last week to find the floor, yourself, and the dog completely covered in flour. Dumping flour on the dog because you were, as you put it "making it snow on Ty" is not okay. I realize we're getting excited for Christmas, but it is NEVER okay to flock the dog!

Now, finally...I know you're a pretty smart girl. That's why I need you to get it into your head, that no matter now many times you try, you cannot fit the contents of your 16 oz. water bottle into the lid! So PLEASE quit trying to pour the water out of the bottle and into the lid so you can use it for a tiny cup. I'm sick of slipping in the water puddles you leave all over the tile.

I'm sure this isn't the last such letter I'll have to write, but my fingers don't have enough energy today to address EVERY issue you and I need to discuss - so let's just start here - shall we?

With All My Love,
They greying, yelling stressed out one - your mom.

I'm linking up to Shortmama's Dear Someone...go check it out to read more letters, or link up yourself!

18 comments:

Amy said...

Oh I hope we do not make snow in our house. Too Funny. Have a great day.

The Booth Family said...

Love it! My son had a confetti party today with all the paper he pulled out of the shredder. Sounds like they would get along great :)

shortmama said...

I think your monkey and my little Layla are a lot alike!!

Desert Rose said...

Oh my..you've got your hands full! Reminds me of the time my oldest daughter got the scissors at nap time, she cut her hair, all her barbies hair, stuffed animals hair..and when I walked into her room, she shoved the scissors under the bed really quick..like I couldn't tell what she did by all of the hair on the floor and the mullet that she gave herself! Kids!

Emmy said...

Oh my!! This is too funny! Monkey definitely keeps you busy. And I am right with you, I am almost 29 but already have to dye my hair due to the amount of grays. sigh

Me and My Family said...

I understand you there. I have a post similar to this one on my blog called "I was gone only a minute" Isn't motherhood wonderful. We all get to learn how to take life in strides and how to laugh at things in the end. I just wish I could laugh while it was happening too.

Sara said...

Too funny!!!
Sorry that I havent been visiting lately, I have someone who is now rolling everywhere and doesnt understand why walls don't move for him! I have been busy, with him

I am so glad that your boutique is doing great!!

MiMi said...

Oh my goodness! She sounds hilarious! Although, my kids can be funny too and STILL irritate me. ; )

Tanielle said...

Love that girl!!! I can't stop laughing about her "flocking" the dog!! She is too stinkin' funny!

Rachel H. said...

I absolutely LOVE your dear someone feature...

makes me smile... :)

Felicia said...

LOL....glad Im not the only one struggling with a busy body who won't make time to go pee pee!!

jenjen said...

Oh no - she flocked the dog? So funny! She keeps you on your toes!

XOXO
Jen

Grammy Kim said...

ahhhhh I miss those days! Well, kind of. :) You have to understand my stage of life right now. haha

Jill said...

roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter dumped a 32oz cup of water on the floor as she was trying to pour it into a little tea cup today!

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

(Indignantly!) And why is there no photo of this flour covered dog??! I believe Monkey has been framed!!

Heather @ Sugar N Spice Mostly Nice said...

haha love it! Our oldest 2 made "snow" with baby powder and covered almost every single surface in their room with it...good times...

Vivienne said...

I love that the dog peed her pants. That, along with the sippy cup and the flour, they can make a really icky paste.
:)
Not funny? OK. Sorry. Hang in there.

Kado! said...

the water in the lid made me laugh out loud...I can see both of mine trying that one!